Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Some of you may noticed I have put social media on the back burner for the past month or so. Pretty much every aspect of my life has suffered from various events and I’ve needed to take a step back. I’m very early into my blogging journey, but I think the hardest thing was having a ‘break’ from social media and the internet culture in general. It has been hard, but it’s been what I needed for sure.
I was dealing (not very well) with a bereavement, struggling on antidepressants, and drained on every level from trying to please everyone. I wasn’t giving much thought into myself and my body was starting to shut down, thus ending up in the tough position of deciding what to leave behind for the sake of my own mental health. I felt like a zombie version of myself, and I hated it. In a modern world I feel like it’s so easy to just say yes, agree to as much as you humanly can, then panic afterwards. Not giving a single thought for your own mental stability. It’s easy to put on a smile and tell everyone you’re okay, post a picture on social media showing that you’re having the most amazing time in London, at the beach, on a night out. But not everyone can see or read what’s happening internally. The upset, frustration, the anger. I didn’t want to carry this on. What Jess Loves is staying true to her name, and it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay not to love something today, and it’s okay to not scream from the rooftops about it.
I’m writing this now in a much more stable mindset, and there is a few things that I realised helped, that I wanted to share with you, if you ever find yourself in this position and looking for a tiny bit of hope.
- Where did you see yourself 5 years ago?
This was the biggest obstacle for me. The person I became was the complete opposite of who I thought I was going to be, and I felt ashamed. Back then, I was on anti depressants, working in a job I hated, and stuck in an impossible situation, I felt like I hadn’t moved all that much. How do I get over this? I have to remind myself that the person I am right now, isn’t the only person I can be, it’s not the best version of myself. My life has progressed on so much, but I was completely failing to see it. I’m engaged, in a great job with a beautiful Partner and cheeky Hedgehog planning my own wedding. I wouldn’t tell you about it though, because I was so focused on what felt like my whole world falling around me.
The key is to learn from mistakes to develop, not to dwell on them.
- Where do I see myself in 5 years time?
Here I wrote down a little list of all the goals that I want to achieve in this time (realistically) and pinned them up nearby my computer where I go everyday, as a constant reminder of the goals I need to achieve to become the best version of myself.
- What do I really love?
this question made me think back to my blog, a lot. Am I really spending time on what I love? In short, kind of. Be always loved makeup and fashion, but I also love being outdoors, exercising, going out for dinner, going to the theatre. Prior to last week, I can’t remember when I last did any of that. How am I going to get over this? Instead of instead of working myself into the ground, I’m taking time out of each day to spend on both myself and Richard. It sounds logical, but it’s quite hard to work out when your brains frazzled.
- Remember to be thankful for a healthy mind
This is certainly one thing I’ve lost, and I want to get back. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your own world, don’t forget to look outside your own bubble, and be grateful for those around you that love you. They too will be fighting their own battles, a simple ‘hello’ or ‘thank you’ could turn a lot around for someone. Also, learning the difference between what is and isn’t within your own control can change a whole situation. I very easily would get wound up about absolutely everything, panic every time someone asked me something, asked me to perform a task. I couldn’t see the wood for the trees (Thats the saying I think?) but I’m trying to train my brain now (In progress!) if I’m in a sticky situation, is it my own doing? can I do anything about it? if not, panicking and getting stressed is going to go completely wasted.
These are the little things that helped, but these are only what helped me. Everyone deals with mental health and insecurities in their own way and there is millions of other factors which can help. Is there anything that you found helped you through a difficult time?